Friday, December 3
woke up at 11plus today. =D i love it. my life's pretty boring these days. did the happening backrow mugs.. got glitter everywhere, including my lunch. done about half. people, please appreciate my efforts. i do not enjoy eating drinking breathing glitter. as for the little tealight holders i'm making for the PlC 03/04.. almost done already. =D christmas tags.. done. even done some extra, in case i forget some people. so i'm down to writing on the silver baubles. and the containers. and writing christmas cards. collected photos today. i'm really getting tired of my mother accusing me of being les. like, really, enoughhhh. she saw the picture of chris and me hugging. i suppose she thinks she's being funny. i don't. about three times a day is a lot of times to be accused of being crooked. and it's such a joke because i am very obviously straight. at least she didn't witness what happened that night. puwahhah. i swear, neither of us meant it to turn out like that, but i was standing around in the ballroom with i caught sight of a girl with very very long hair. and i looked at her. and she looked at me. then i cried, 'dilly!' as she cried 'mel!' and we ran [literally] into each others' arms. whereupon everyone laughed and cheered. i'm sorry it always looks like i'm greeting my soulmate or smth. but i really was so pleased to see her, i didn't think about how it would look. ahh well. i. am. straight. thanks.
realised i can't do a lot of things in jc. the list as of now, as recited by my mum: no sitting at the back in class. no wearing of skirt on hips. no shortening skirt. no tucking out of shirt. no funny hair. no skipping class. no skipping cca. no being rude. no looking at people in a rude and angry way when being scolded. what a list. and she's not even done yet. she adds a little bit more everyday. now i see why my sister chose rj over hc. hey, note that she didn't say i couldn't be les. so if i'm really really bored and feeling restrained by the different rules.. well she didn't tell me not to. maybe i should just go to sa. i am basically a good girl. but i need to breathe too. my mum thinks i've got a perverse personality cos i said i didn't bother looking for teachers at prom. and when she said that's not nice, i said i don't usually bother being nice. and she was horrified. and i'm a really terrible person cos i love horrifying people by acting callous. anyway i said i didn't want to be too nice cos that's too common. i think she wants to send me to a nunnery now. hip hip hooray. and can i be really really thickskinned? poverty breeds thick skins. anyway. thanks jean for volunteering to get me a wallet. i'm okay with brandless ones. just smth similar to the one i have now that's falling apart, i got it for $10, not bad eh. and i've got about 300 photos sitting around, with no album to put them in and no money for an album. there was a nice happy house one that siti and i saw yesterday.. $4.90. but if i buy it my mum will kill me. i am bad at hinting. i don't need anything else, merry christmas everyone.
i love ally! she sent me two nice songs.. =D thanks ally baby! heartbreak lullaby by a*teens.. and it's gonna be love by mandy moore. i love them both. but right now i'm playing heartbreak lullaby. and yes it's on repeat, do you have a problem? =D and no i don't think i'll be done with it by wed when chris comes over. i love the song, you know. songs are so easy to love. it's so easy to hide behind songs. i can moon over the lyrics of a song, lead people to the truth, then turn around and whack them in the face by telling them it's just a song. i am really a terrible person. maybe it's because it hurts showing the world you care. maybe it's because at least this way if there's gonna be any hurting, it won't be me, not in the eyes of the world anyway.
heartbreak lullaby:
In the still of the night,
I can almost feel you lying next to me,
Like it used to be.
And its hard to let go,
When there's always something there reminding me,
How things could be.
I've tried to get you off my mind,
I've tried to play my part,
But everytime I close my eyes,
You're still inside my heart.
Why can't I laugh?
Why must I cry?
Everytime we say good-bye.
Why does it rain
Here in my heart,
Everyday that we're apart.
Why can't it be
Just you and me,
What will it take to make you see...
These are the words
To my heartbreak lullaby.
Like the stars in the sky,
You still keep on shining down your light on me,
But out of reach.
And I know that in time
You will come back to your senses,
See the signs
And change your mind.
I try to look the other way
And keep my heart on hold,
But everytime I'm close to you,
I lose my self-control.
Why can't I laugh?
Why must I cry?
Everytime we say good-bye.
Why does it rain
Here in my heart,
Everyday that we're apart?
Why can't it be
Just you and me.
What will it take to make you see?
These are the words
To my heartbreak lullaby.
Why can't I laugh?
Why must i cry?
Give me just one good reason why..
Why does it rain
Here in my heart
Everyday that we're apart?
Why can't it be
Just you and me...
What will it take to make you see...
These are the words
To my heartbreak lullaby.
[CHORUS x2]
it must've been love.
8:19 pm
xoxo
